“aren’t You Lucky You Have Two Mamas?”: Redefining Parenthood in Light of Evolving Reproductive Technologies and Social Change

Karen and Meg, a lesbian couple in a committed, long-term relationship, decided to have a child together.1 Karen attempted to conceive a child via in vitro fertilization with the support and assistance of Meg, who donated the ovum to be fertilized with sperm from an anonymous donor. The procedure was successful and the couple proceeded together through the familiar yet profound rituals of pregnancy and labor, culminating in the birth of a daughter. Karen, the gestational mother, had no genetic relationship to the child, whereas Meg, who donated the ovum, had the same genetic relationship to the child as any other “natural” parent would. The child grew, looking to both Karen and Meg for the love and security she required as much as food, clothing, and shelter. However, over the course of time the relationship between the couple began to dissolve, and they parted acrimoniously. Karen, who carried the child, claimed the right of a parent to custody and acted to prevent Meg from seeing the child. Meg, the genetic mother whose role as loving parent continued from conception through the changing of diapers and beyond, found herself being denied the company of a child she helped raise just as much as her former partner. The child, without understanding why, found herself deprived of Meg, to whom, with Karen, she always looked for the security and comfort of parental love.